A Joc-Joc-Joc Bola-Bola Moment

I wonder why this guy, Joc Joc, is so afraid of coming home. I mean he is coming "home". "Home" is a word that is very much revered that several things are named after it: in baseball: home plate, home run, in songs: "Sweet Home Alabama", John Denver's "Country Roads", in the browser: the Home button, in video games: HomeWorld, and so on and so forth. So, "que pasa?" Mr. Joke Joke Bola-Bolante?

Why are you so afraid of coming home into your own country? This obvious political partisan and his band of censors, Jun Lozada, is even asking so many questions about you like:

1. How safe are you in Manila?

I figure he will be safe just like every other guy. Go watch TV Patrol and you will see how safe and secure the streets of Manila are. Just in case you still don't feel safe, I have some tips that could keep you safe in the streets of Manila:

    * Don't use a car which spontaneously combusts.
    * Don't ride a motorcycle. Just use a tricycle instead.
   
Anyway, back to the ever holy Jun Lozada's questions for you:


2. Is there a possibility that someone may attempt to harm you or your family?

I will answer that for you Joke-Joke. Imagine Mr. Press Secretary talking to the media, "Mr. Joke-Joke's arrival is a non-issue. In fact we take great strides to ignore him like, like, he didn't exist at all. Why am I even making a statement about him? His safety? He is as safe as everybody else as long as he doesn't spill the fertilizer, este, the beans! In fact we are even guaranteeing that he enjoys a nice new life as a reclusive billionaire."


3. How are the people that you are covering for, going to help you?

Teka teka, your divine holiness Jun, is that a trick question? You my friend are not a master of the Art of Questioning. Ikaw ha, assuming ka masyado. Mr. Joke-Joke is not covering for anything, or for anybODY. Got it?


4. How are you going to answer questions from media?

Hehehe, easy just like everybody else, "No comment."


5. How can the people you are covering be trusted with their dilatory tactics to get you off the hook, away from the prying questions of the opposition senators?

Dilatory? Jun masyado green tanong mo. What is that "dila"-tory word of yours? It sounds sexual ah. Anyway madali lang yan Jun. In fact I already prepared his strategy while he is on the plane and IF the "peninsula wig" thing does not work when he disembarks.

I instructed him to cry. Yes cry with tears of remorse. Then we will hold a press conference with a dozen nuns and say, "I'M SORRY.  BOOHOOHOOHOO." For maximum media effect, lalagyan namin ng Vicks Vaporub ang kanyang mga mata. Tapos mag-iimbento kami ng spin. Sabihin namin may nagbayad tapos nagpepwersa sa kanya from the opposition kaya siya pumunta sa TATE HEHEHEHEHE.


6. How are my children hurt with the truth that I am generally perceived as a corrupt criminal by the Filipino nation?

Easy lang Jun, the same way that other corrupt criminals treat their children: buy them BMW and drugs.


7. How are my children going to explain my involvement in this fertilizer scam to their friends?

Naku, dali lang nyan. Give them BMW and drugs too.


8. How is my wife going to face our friends and still be seen as a person with integrity?

Ha? Anong integrity? Pasakayin ko sila sa yate ko tapos pakainin ko ng tigisa isang lobster. O yan integrity.


9. What legacy am I leaving my children? Is leaving them with millions of money and big houses in Ayala Alabang better than leaving them with a good name?

Hahahaha. Ang daling sagutin niyan Jun.


10. Secondly as a fellow Rotarian, how about asking the Four Way test as part of your discernment process? Is it the Truth? Is it fair to everyone concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendship? Will it be beneficial to everyone concerned? You have been a good Rotarian for many good years of your life. Will you now turn your back on these ideals in the biggest test of your Rotarian values?

Simple answer is no. Eto lobster. Ok na?


Serious mode na. No, really. Pwera Joke-Joke. Jun Lozada is appealing and asking questions to a guy who has made up his mind long long before to commit not only a crime but to violate a most basic precept of humanity. This guy chose gold over his own dignity. You couldn't really blame the shithead. He is beholden to the powers that be. He is like Darth Maul in Star Wars. He can only serve his omnipotent masters.

So Jun, please please please stop asking all those moral high ground questions. They only appeal to those who can afford to eat. Majority of Filipinos have already violated the basic precept of human dignity and have resorted to all sorts of indignity in this filthy world - to feed their families.

Government and mass media proclaim OFWs as heroes - but in truth, they are slaves in another country. They have no rights. They are beheaded and most of all: They have no voice in those countries.

Going back to Joke Joke. He is a lost cause. No amount of moral appeal from you could sway - let's say a 100 million pesos. It is easier to take that house in Ayala Alabang a BMW and a BaZillion pesos than to face death threats, criminal prosecution, ostracism and the garbage that you had to contend with yourself when you siwallatted the NBN thing.

Did you ever wonder why luxuries or things people-don't-need-but-buy-anyway are fancied by most if not all? Did you ever wonder why the internet is widely used?

Did you ever wonder why beerhouses/bars are widespread?

Did you ever wonder why San Miguel Corporation is a very big corporation?

Did you ever wonder why people use drugs?


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